As I’m in the long process of learning a new language, and as I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve learned just enough to get myself into trouble, I figured now is as good a time as any to begin a potentially-ongoing series about the “lost in translation”moments that come along. Let’s be honest, those that know me well (and even those that don’t) can confidently attest to the fact that I have lanugage mishaps in my own mother tongue. Add in a whole new set of vocabulary and inuendos, and I’ve got a great recipe for disaster.

Obviously, I have had a remarkable moment, or I wouldn’t begin the series.

My husband I attend school for 4 class hours a day, 5 days a week. Between each class, we have a 10 minute break and then one longer break for 30 minutes. Often, especially during the shorter 10 minute breaks, the teachers will stick around in the common area to chat with the students. On one particular day, I walked out of the class, and my teacher offered me a stool to sit on that was directly in front of her. Seeing that the stool was, literally, right at her knees which created a “close talker” scenario, I decided to try out my new vocabulary. Attempting to say, “I’m face to face with you,” I mistakenly conjugated a different verb entirely and ended up proposing marriage!

My teacher’s face fell and she screamed, “Haram! (forbidden)!”

No. Actually, she laughed and accepted my proposal, thinking that I knew what I was saying, but the situation became much more amusing for her when she realized that I had no clue what I had said. Disgusted with myself and wanting to pick up the few pieces left of my honour, I tried to tell her that this is forbidden. We live in the desert! My efforts only made her laugh harder. At least I kind of know how to be funny in Arabic. A funny lesbian. Awesome.