Only 2 more sleeps until we leave our home in our city and head to the capital in preparation for our big overseas flight back to the mainland!  Two. More. Sleeps!  In the capital, we’ll be staying at the fancy hotel because we have a FREE NIGHT coupon!  Woohoo!  I absolutely LOVE their breakfast.  Everything you could possibly want for breakfast is offered and available.  I love waking up, going downstairs and having my heart’s tastebud’s desire at my fingertips without any effort on my part, save the walking to the elevator (which is EXHAUSTING!  Please, give me a plate of bacon to boost up my energy reserves!  What?  There is no bacon?  For the love!  Fine, fruit.  I’ll eat all this fruit.) 

We are hoping, hoping, hoping that we get bumped when we make our connection.  Last time we traveled back, we chose to remain behind for the next day’s flight.  The airline rewarded our decision with 600 euros EACH – and not in travel vouchers.  CASH.  It would be ever so helpful if that happened again so that I could shop without a care.

I’m mentally preparing myself for the worst case scenario when we enter our home country.  The desert in general doesn’t have the greatest reputation with all the botched attempts by unsavouries to attack the peaceful.   Any connection makes one suspicious.  Just to make sure that I am 100% certain to get hauled in for questioning when I enter the homeland next week, I hired a henna artist to paint henna all up my arms, over my hands and fingers and up my legs.  There is no better way to identify a conspirator against peace because only terrorists wear henna.  Didn’t you know?  I’m going to loudly demand a strip search with Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” as accompaniment.  That should go over well.

It can’t be any worse than the time I yelled “terrorists” and “blow people up” in the security line up.  That was helpful in warding off misconceptions.  Good ambassadorship there, White Girl.