Another day, another wedding. What’s new, right? Thankfully, this wedding is far off on the mountainside, so the music isn’t drilling into my every thought. We can hear it, pleasantly enough. What made it charming was when I overheard the painters singing along to one of the songs yesterday. It made me giggle. But not loud enough to seduce those poor, witless men with the sound of bells that is my gaiety. I did, however, behave in a haram sort of way when I laughed loudly while we were watching “Despicable Me” in my bedroom. You just know that those poor men, with no ability to turn their thoughts elsewhere, heard my laughter and thought, “She’s in her room, laughing!” and who knows where I led their thoughts that day. Despicable Me, that’s me.
I have tried to redeem myself, preemptively, by providing sweet tea each morning and afternoon. I need to prove somehow that I’m actually a good woman, of noble and upright character. I’ve also been trying to undo all the good that my lovely cleanse did for me by consuming the tea morning, noon and night as well. I truly am despicable. And hyper. And seductive.