I was a woman from a hard background, working as hard as I could to start over, but never able to gain any momentum. I’d advance a little, and then I would have to take 3 steps back. It was hard. The saddest part was having to say no to my kids so much, and the difficulty of making it from day to day was exhausting. When they gave me a brand-new refrigerator, I was so thankful. Tears of joy ran down my face and cries of relief escaped my lips. No longer would I have to go to the store each day. My children could have cold milk on their cereal! I could have fresh vegetables and fruit stay fresh for days! My heart swelled in the space that was now provided because the strain wasn’t compressing me so heavily anymore.
Suddenly, The Mister was there… Why is he trying to bite my arm? I held up my fore-finger in protest and order. Get away from me! But he went for the finger too, with jaws open for a nasty nibble. What is going on??
White Girl…. White Girl….
It’s The Mister. He’s holding me. I’m not someone else. I am me. I am in my bed in the desert.
White Girl… can you hear me? It’s me. The Mister. Are you awake?
What is going on? What happened to the refrigerator? The cloud is lifting. Details of my real life are becoming clear and the dream is falling away.
White Girl, are you okay?
You were crying.