Uncomfortably Warm

It is hot here, you guys. I don’t want to say it’s as hot as H-E double hockey sticks because I haven’t actually been there to make an accurate comparison, but if I could imagine it, I would say that these temperatures are fairly close. Have you ever stood in front of a vehicle that has a large engine and felt the heat escaping from the grill after it has been put to some strenuous use? Have you ever done that on a hot summer day? That’s what the weather feels like here except there isn’t a big vehicle in front of me. It’s just me and blasting hot air – everywhere. My mind plays tricks on me sometimes, making me believe that there is a large vehicle right next to me (this especially occurs when I’m crossing a street) but I turn in a panic only to find out it’s just me and the hot breeze.

Yesterday evening, we were driving to the mall for some ice cream (which The Mister and I immediately regretted because heat and dairy always SEEMS like a good idea at the idea stage but during application, it’s just heavy) and the temperature gauge on the dashboard was reading 43 degrees C/ 109 degrees F. This was evening, folks. The sun was NOT up. Even if we flipped the digits around, it would still be hot. This is ridiculous. I don’t know how these Muslims are fasting (no eating or DRINKING from sunup to sundown) and not dying. Kudos. Props. All power to you. Any encouragement I can throw your way, I will. You’ve got my respect, that’s for sure.

When the sun is up, the heat instantly robs you of any bit of moisture. The sun is relentless in its attack.  Okay. I get it. You’re a big ball of fire. Geez. Can you take it down a notch?  Or 30? A quaint side effect of the sun being as hot as Hades is that the water tanks storing our water on our roof becomes a scalding cauldron delivering hot, steamy water from the cold water tap. Brilliance, though, is birthed out of necessity and people of The Dub aren’t about to let their skin be melted off time and again, whenever they want to clean themselves. Instead, we all turn off our hot water tanks which then become “cold” water storage. Once the hot water is stored in the hot water tank, inside the house and away from Sauron’s eyeball of fire, the water has the chance to cool down to a tolerable room temperature. Our water temperature is now one of life’s dichotomies along the lines of “the first shall be last and the last shall be first.” Turn the tap towards the hot for cold-ish water and turn it to the blue for scalding.  A simple remedy for an otherwise uncomfortable situation.  Not sure what the time-line is for switching it back the other way round and resuming traditional hot water tank usage.  I’ll keep you posted.

The complication, however,  is when there are situations without the choice between hot and cold. Take the toilet, for instance. Charlie noticed right away that the usually chilly and sweating water storage tank was hot to the touch. “Something is wrong, Mom!” No, Charlie. All is as it should be, it’s just that the water that is usually cold is coming from the general source of water, so it is hot because it just sits outside in the holding tank. The Mister exited the bathroom one day and warned me about using the hose. (As an aside to new readers, if there are any, there are hoses beside the toilets in our house to make it easily convenient to use water for cleaning purposes in place of toilet paper. There is still toilet paper provided, but if you’d rather use water, or better yet, a combination of the two, you have the hose at your disposal.) The Mister warned me that the water from the hose turns hot – and quick! “As soon as you feel it getting warm, stop using it!” I stored his advice in the deep recesses of my mind; quite frankly, I dismissed it because who uses the hose for a long period of time anyway?

Oh, arrogance. Please just make me a t-shirt that says, “Slap Me”.

There came a day when a lengthier time of washing was necessary. I won’t go into the details as to why, exactly. Although, I’m sure you can just imagine. Good luck with that. As the water sprayed (powerfully, might I add – it just about blew my bits right off the first time I used it), I felt the water becoming warmer, and thought, “I guess I should stop using it….. OW!!!!!!!!!!!” The water got hot! I’m surprised that it didn’t solder all the openings shut.

Lesson learned: cease hose use as soon as a slight measure of temperature change is detected.

Hopefully other lessons I have to learn in The Dub aren’t as painful. I walked funny for the better part of that day. Not going to lie.

7 thoughts on “Uncomfortably Warm

  1. Lori says:

    This is so FUNNY! I’m in a tent camping with my daughter and I can’t sleep , so I’m playing with our iPad and portable wifi and just read this. “blowing your bits off?”. Ha ha ha!!!!!

    Interesting about the water – things you don’t know about until you live it. I love these random stories, W. girl!

  2. Di says:

    Oh. My. Goodness. I haven’t read the previous post (sheesh! You stop posting for months and then it’s BOOM BAM!), but let’s pretend this is the COMEBACK post! Soldering bits and smoldering pieces. Love it! 43, however, sounds like pure torture. No wonder the locals sleep all the fast-long day!

  3. whitegirl says:

    Lori – you are camping, girl! What are you doing reading my blog? haha

    Di – I knew you’d love the bit about the bits. I could hear you laughing in my head.

  4. Sonya says:

    Oh White Girl…you make me laugh.
    We hit 42 degrees the other day and I thought I would die. I feel your pain girl. Well, some of it. ;p

  5. Rachel says:

    I am howling with Laughter and my husband is looking at me with most strange expression!

  6. fiona says:

    I love that you’re talking to the sun, “Okay. I get it. You’re a big ball of fire. Geez. Can you take it down a notch? Or 30?” and calling it “Sauron’s eyeball of fire.” You crack me up. Oh yeah, and the part about burning your naughty bits was kinda funny, too … not funny, haha, but funny, oooooh and feeling the sympathy pains. I may just have to make you that shirt that says, “Slap me!” 😉

  7. When we went into the airport restroom in Dub, I felt like they were overdoing it with the sauna for my nether regions, but you’re saying that’s not the service they were providing? So I probably shouldn’t have remained seated until I felt like all my pores were cleansed?

    That whole city is a wall of heat. But at least you can buy sports gear in the airport while sipping your fave Starbucks beverage, am I right?

    (Actually, I’m still kicking myself for forgetting to buy a tacky camel mug at the airport kiosk. My coffee is not going to be very fun. Ever.)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *