Yes, you read that correctly – The Mister got married again.
Ok, fine. What really happened is that I had another one of those dreams – for the second time in four years, I’ve dreamt that The Mister took another wife. This time, they were already married and I was so desperately unhappy about it. His new wife was an intelligent literature professor. She and The Mister would have long academic conversations that The Mister found so inspiring and interesting. She was beautiful. The Mister was just smitten.
The more I clung to him, clawing at his shoulders and chest, trying to grab at least some love and assurance that I had confidently taken for granted in the past, the more he seemed to relish in my hoplessness. It was almost a an expression of thrill that crossed his face to witness my despondency.
Then the worst happened. His new wife was so delighted in her new found love and fortune, she decided that she was going to try her hand in the kitchen – something that she hadn’t really focused on before due to her literary career. Now she was married! And in love! And she wanted to express her love to her new husband in the way of cake! “She’s planning to make one of my favourite cakes – angel food cake – from scratch!” The Mister beamed. His attitude was definitely in the realm of marveling and I was utterly dismayed.
Baking was MY kingdom. No one messes with that. And now this woman – this parasite – was taking not only my deep love, my confidence, my place in his heart, but now she was threatening to take my talent as well. I had never made an angel food cake before! How could she do this? She never baked before and now she was going to make one of my love’s “favourites” as her foray into the new field? I began secretly plotting, gathering ingredients and researching recipes. I was going to make an angel food cake first. Because I’m FIRST. If I have to share him, fine. I can’t change that. But she can never, ever change that I will always be FIRST.
Sobbing broke through my dream and brought me back to the land of reality.
The sobbing was coming from me. I was crying out from the emotional pain of losing the devoted love of my love. I eventually got back to sleep and slept soundly until the alarm woke us up at 6 a.m. I stumbled through the morning, getting Charlie and Lola ready for school, while shooting The Mister looks of forlorn – my heart was still feeling the effects of being broken, even if it wasn’t true.
“Do you realize that this other woman was everything great about yourself? She loves literature and she bakes. I like angel food cake and you knew that! The other woman is YOU.”
I decided that there was just one thing that could make this all better. I had to show that woman, imaginary or not, who is queen around these parts.
I made Angel Food Cake FROM SCRATCH!
IN YOUR FACE, SECOND WIFE!!
Yeah, THAT just happened.